


Misguided Marriage

by JasnNCarly



Category: All My Children
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-17
Updated: 2009-05-17
Packaged: 2020-05-16 17:54:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19323163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasnNCarly/pseuds/JasnNCarly
Summary: Kendall needs Zach to find his fight again.





	Misguided Marriage

Kendall knew she was being questioned, somewhere in the midst of her emotional confusion she could manage a clear nod before her company had exited the room. The moment the door shut, she let out a deep breath she was unaware she had been holding in, and looked down at her hands.   
  
Smeared with blood, her hands shook furiously as she looked for some escape out of the room. The only thing she could hear, recall clearly from the past few minutes, was the proclamation.  
  
“Kendall, he’s alive. Your son is pulling through, and he needs his mother.”  
  
She stood to her feet with the last ounce of her strength, ignoring the way her body attempted to buckle, and managed two steps before stopping suddenly.   
  
Beyond the arguing between two familiar men outside the door, she saw beyond them through the window of the interrogation room to the only man who seemed absolutely calm.  
  
He remained still, handcuffed by another officer, and awaited his entrance into separate integration room. Without warning, his brown eyes had met her with that magic only he managed to give her absent of a word.  
  
The look that said I understand – I understand Kendall Hart.  
  
Her eyes flooded with tears as she remained his stare, connected with him once again in that moment of solidarity. It felt real, despite the mess she was incredibly aware they had both made. Before she could manage to mouth something his way, they had taken him for questioning, and left her with her promise to Zach echoing in her mind.  
  
 _“I’ll take care of things. If Ian dies, I’ll kill Adam.”_  
  
~*~  
  
Her blue eyes which were strong and determined in his mind had faded into those scared, confused ones just moments ago.   
  
Zach’s instinct to protect her, to keep her safe from the world so willing to harm her, proved to be an addiction he could not kick.   
  
While he sat handcuffed, about to be implicated in Adam’s murder, Kendall was the only thing on his mind. He wanted to reassure her, remind her to give little information and trust him with everything.   
  
The feeling was comforting to him, knowing that no matter how things changed – they were absolutely the same. Nothing had felt this warm since Kendall had went into the coma, since their marriage had started its track towards something completely unrecognizable.   
  
On cue, he could hear Ryan trying to bully his way past Jesse and into the room with Kendall. Every argument nothing more than absolute nonsense; every word Ryan said reminding Zach that he had no right to stay in a moment of husbandly protection towards his ex-wife. 0

He was now the proud owner of the disgusting title, Baby’s Daddy, and nothing more.  
  
 _Ian’s alive. That’s all that matters right now. Your son is alive._  
  
Trying to talk himself through the loss of his family, Zach allowed his eyes to find the only window of the room just as her crazy curled mane made its way past his room, her eyes glancing his way briefly before she had disappeared all together.   
  
Jesse had entered Zach’s interrogation room soon after, frustrated, “All right, Zach, be straight with me. What the hell happened tonight?”  
  
~*~  
  
 _{Where were you, when I said I loved you  
And where were you, when I cried at night  
Waiting up, couldn't sleep without you  
Thinking of, all the times we shared}_  
  
Kendall sat on the cot of her cell, resting her hand against the cold steel bars, and ignored the separate conversation happening through PVPD jail around her. All that she hear or think of, among the clink of the cell doors and endless bickering, was Zach.  
  
In that hospital room, even tonight in those short moments of eye contact, they were unified. It was the two of them against the world all over again, allowing her a piece of her past life back, the one where she felt safer at Zach’s side then with the Kane army behind her.  
  
Kendall was quickly reminded she was still alone as she wrapped her hand around of the bars, flashes of divorce papers and arguments rushing through her mind. Everything made it clear Zach no longer understood or accepted her, leading her straight to Ryan.  
  
 _God, Ryan…_  
  
It was a train wreck. Her whole life, topped with a fresh Chandler murder, and now the realization that eventually she would lose her best friend on top of everything.  
She anything but a fool, understanding her repeat with Ryan was just that – it would come complete with the self destruction. She would do something wrong, he would decide he loved someone better, and they would only have contact for Spike.  
  
The whole relationship was a joke she was in on, well aware they had escaped in each other the way she had escaped with Aidan when she felt it was over with Zach before. But it was all false, everything but what she felt for her now ex.  
  
 _I finally ruined it. I finally pushed him away to where he won’t come back. Congratulations, Kendall, you win._  
  
She shut her eyes in response to the emerging tears, only to have a rush of warmth surprise her as it was placed upon her hand. Opening her eyes, she found a familiar hand on hers, one she recognized better than her own and her eyes quickly found home in his.  
  
 _{I remember when my heart broke  
I remember when I gave up loving you  
My heart couldn't take no more of you  
I was sad and lonely  
I remember when I walked out  
I remember when I screamed I hated you  
But somehow deep inside, still loving you, sad and lonely}_  
  
Offering a small smile, Zach used his thumb to stroke her porcelain skin and relished the tiny hopeful smile she offered him in response.   
  
Kendall quickly wiped away any tears, glancing around at their company before leaning in a little closer, “Apparently, there were a lot of people willing to kill the Chandler king, huh?”  
  
Zach did no cease his action, continuing to soothe her in his action, as he allowed his husky voice to respond, “Apparently, a lot of people willing to confess to Adam’s murder as well.”  
  
Her eyes went wide as she eyed the cells surrounding, laughing slightly, “You’re kidding me.”  
  
“Nope, everyone in here has confessed to killing Adam.”  
  
Kendall sat back a little, stunned and worried, “Zach, you didn’t…”  
  
“I most certainly did.” His eyes burned into hers, his fingers lacing with hers and the bar, “And so did you.”  
  
Shrugging her shoulders, she frowned through misty eyes, “I made a promise.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“And I may not be the person to trust on a lot of things, but when I gave you my word, Zach, I—“  
  
“I know.”  
  
Kendall swallowed a lump in her throat, gathering up all her courage to place her other hand over their joining, “I would do anything to protect my family, Zach. I hope you know that has never changed, and it never will.”  
  
Placing his hand over hers, he gave a small nod and let out a long sigh, “I need you to take back your confession, Kendall.”  
  
Her hands immediately left his as she flew to a stand, “No!”  
  
 _{No one knew, all the pain I went through  
All the love, I saved deep in my heart for you  
Didn't know, where I would go, where I would be  
But you made me leave, and plus my heart it just  
It just kept telling me so}_  
  
Zach took a moment, knowing her reaction would be as such, and made sure their company had returned to their separate conversation before gathering himself to a stand. Staring deeply into her eyes, detecting her pure hurt, he went on, “The boys need their mother.”  
  
“And their father.”  
  
“Yes, but we can’t both be in here while this all goes down, Kendall. One of us has to be able to care for them until this is cleaned up.”  
  
Crossing her arms, she spoke out and out defiant, “Fine, then it’s me.”   
  
“This isn’t a competition, Kendall.”  
  
“You’re right. We should be in this together but, if you’re too stubborn to realize that, then I’ll fight this alone.”  
  
Zach had to laugh at this, infuriated by her use of the word stubborn while displaying it perfectly, “This is it, isn’t it? For the rest of our lives, just me and you one up-ing each other?”  
  
Kendall got closer to the bars, keeping her voice an angry whisper, “Nope, I win. I may not have slept with some random person, but I can sure fire a gun!”  
  
 _Hypocrite._  Rather than say so, Zach felt the need to point out, “You’re right. You slept with someone we both knew.”  
  
 _Asshole._  Kendall chose to redirect her words as well, “You got my sister pregnant!”  
  
The cells went silent for a moment, Kendall’s outburst stunning everyone into quiet, as Zach took a seat on his cot once more by the cell bars.  
  
 _{I remember when my heart broke  
I remember when I gave up loving you  
My heart couldn't take no more of you, I was sad and lonely  
I remember when I walked out  
I remember when I said I hated you  
But somehow deep inside, still loving you, so sad and lonely}_  
  
Kendall worked her way slowly back to her seat, allowing the air to still between them, and waited for him to come back at her with something evil and mean. Instead, Zach surprised her by saying nothing at all. He just took what she had to say. This made her blood boil.  
  
After a moment, she decided to break the silence, “I hate you when you’re like this.”  
  
“Excuse me?” He waited for her eyes to meet his, “Like what?”  
  
“Defeated.” Kendall’s word choice obviously hit a sore spot as his jaw tightened and his eyes shot a glare away from her. Scooting closer to the bars, she willed herself to go on, “I don’t want to beat you, Zach. I’ve never wanted us to get to a point where every conversation is like this.”  
  
“But it is, Kendall. And I’m not going to fight you every step of the way anymore. I’m not going to argue or piss you off to keep our family together. We’ve both made decision, and here we are.”  
  
Bowing her head, Kendall quickly agreed, “Here we are.”  
  
Zach could not stay quiet long, burned by her comment, “Do you think it’s easy to let you walk away all the time? Do you think I want to see you with Ryan or have the boys with a part time family? Do you honestly believe that I’m enjoying all of this?”  
  
“Well, you were the one who filed for divorce.”  
  
“And you couldn’t wait to sign the dotted line, Kendall. So what the hell do you expect from me?”  
“I expect nothing, happy?”  
  
“No, I’m not. But you seem to have your idea about how I feel and think so why not clue me in, Zach.”  
  
She was growing more enraged with each change in his tone, each emphasis of sarcasm, “I’ll just never get it, all right?”  
  
“If I knew what the hell you were talking about, maybe we’d actually stop talking in circles.”  
  
“How could you do it?”  
  
“What the baby? The imaginary relationship with Reese? What?”  
  
“You gave up.” Heartbroken and vulnerable, Kendall exposed her deepest wound with little hesitation, “On me, Zach. You didn’t even hesitate. You just gave me divorce papers and handed me to Ryan.”  
  
“I’m not going to do this with you. You’re a grown woman, Kendall. You make your own decisions.”  
  
“And out of everybody, I thought you understood me. My decisions, my moods, my everything. Yet you know nothing.”   
  
 _{There was nowhere else to go, oh  
Nobody else, to turn to, no  
For the rest of my life, I promise myself I  
Will love me first, genuinely}_  
  
Zach avoided her eyes, pretending to surveying their surroundings as she stared at him accusing, “It’s not my job to fix you, Kendall.”  
  
“Yet you did, every time I needed you to until now.”  
  
Pushing his tears back down to the pit of his stomach, he stared at her in feigned disbelief, “I gave you what you wanted.”  
  
“You took the easy way out. You let me push you away. Why? Why would you do that to me?”  
  
Nervous and angry, Zach began to pace the cell, “Can we not have this conversation now?”  
  
“When then?”  
  
“How about after you fix what you said with Jesse?”  
  
“No, you don’t get to order me around. You said it yourself, I can make my own decisions.”  
  
He rushed to the cell bars, squeezing them until his tan skin went white, and angrily whispered, “Why can’t you do what I ask? Why can’t you just let me lead this time?”  
  
“No, not until I get an answer.” Kendall stood to her feet, approaching the bars cautiously, and refused to get close enough for him to reach, yet was close enough to ask, “Just tell me why.”  
  
After a moment, he pressed his forehead tightly against the bars, confessing, “I didn’t know how. This time, I didn’t know how to fix it.” Slightly pinned between the steel, Zach searched until he found the depth of her glassy blue gaze, “I made the all the wrong decisions…I deserved to lose you.”  
  
Her steps were inching slow and closer to him as he went on with his confession.  
  
“When you were in the coma, I swore I would make it right. I would have done anything to make it the way it was, you and the boys—you’re all I’ve ever had. But, once you were awake, it was clear that there was nothing I could do. I had to lose you for everything I had done.”  
  
Suddenly, her hands were on his again and her face just inches away from his. Tears were flowing freely as she shook her head slowly, crying out softly, “But I didn’t want to lose you.”  
  
Zach closed his eyes tightly, bowing his head and his head further into the bars, “I gave up.”  
  
“Don’t you love me? Don’t you want me anymore?”  
  
Meeting her eyes once more, his sincerity was evident and absolute, “You know the answer to that.”  
  
“Then let me do this, Zach. Let me stand with you on this, and it will be us against them.” Kendall seemed downright hopeful as she smiled, “It will be like it was before, the way it should be.”  
  
Zach tried to pull away, only to have her have hold on tighter, and force him to maintain their eye contact. Don’t do this, Kendall. Don’t give me hope for something that can’t happen.   
  
 _{I remember when my heart broke  
I remember when I gave up loving you  
My heart couldn't take no more of you  
I was sad and lonely  
I remember when I walked out  
I remember when I said I hated you  
But somehow deep inside, still loving you, sad and lonely  
I remember when I walked out  
I remember when I gave up loving you  
My heart couldn't take no more of you, so sad and lonely}_  
  
Kendall pressed on, speaking soft and stern, “I need you to trust me again, and I need to trust you.”  
  
“This? You pick this to test everything on?”  
  
She shrugged her shoulders, pouting, “Has anything else worked?”  
  
He had to laugh at this, short and sharp. It hurt his chest just as the question had. It had occurred to him to come up with some secret plan between them, make Ryan feel like odd man out, but he nixed it. Instead, he wanted to give her an escape and take the brunt of it.  
  
“Zach?”  
  
She had brought him out of his thoughts and back to her eyes. Reaching out, he caught her tears and stroked her cheek. Zach enjoyed the sight of her leaning into his hand, both of her hands wrapping around his wrist, and he wanted to recover. He wanted to get back to clarity, where he had given up hope for their future and let her go.   
  
All clarity was gone when she kissed his palm before stating, “We can beat everything one more time.”  
  
Zach smiled sadly, nodding slowly as she held his hand to her chest and pleaded at him with her gaze, “We will.”  
  
 _{I remember when I stormed out  
I remember when I gave up loving you, I was sad…and lonely}_  
  
 __ **Song Credit: “I Remember” – Keyshia Cole**


End file.
